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Scarf OMG Nivella
Posted on 2005.01.28 at 13:22
Current Mood: ecstaticpmsl
Metaphors from exam papers, class!!

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.

19. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

32. It hurt, the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.


(Deleted comment)
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 13:28 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah that one's not bad. 9. makes me wonder about whoever wrote it!
suzvoy at 2005-01-28 13:34 (UTC) (Link)
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

How romantic.

And I don't know about you, but I'm ALWAYS stapling my tongue to the wall.
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 13:45 (UTC) (Link)
Oh I know those staplers are so dangerous!
robinchristine at 2005-01-28 13:56 (UTC) (Link)
26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

What?! Everyone's dads didn't do that?! FOTFLMAO!!!
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 14:07 (UTC) (Link)
Kewl I am not working class!!!!
robinchristine at 2005-01-28 14:09 (UTC) (Link)
I thought my family was as rednecked as it could be, but then I met Ricky's. I feel so much better about mine. I could see some people in his family doing this. Really.
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 14:21 (UTC) (Link)
Hehe! I always thought I was working class till I met the working class too. Now I'm just a snob lol!
robinchristine at 2005-01-28 14:23 (UTC) (Link)
*rolls eyes* Thats what they call me. Honestly, Ricky was the first person in their family (and the only one so far) to graduate high school. They're not the brightest people.
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 14:26 (UTC) (Link)
My friends family is a lot like that, but I consider letting your baby crawl around on the floor where you've just put your fag out dirty.
robinchristine at 2005-01-28 14:38 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, it kinda is. Last year at Thanksgiving we went over to Ricky's aunts house and it had rained a ton. Well, their yard is like, well, dirt. Hardly any grass, and there are chickens and dogs running EVERYWHERE. Logan had on his little corduroy pants (very light brown) and a little checkered shirt and a cream colored pull over vest. Brand new. So the cousins ask can he go out and play. I'm like "yes, just don't play near the mud, please". So the oldest (13) brings him in not five minutes later and Logan is muddy from head to toe. Seems he fell into a puddle as big as he was. I lost it. I got sooo pissed. He was dark orangy-brown all the way from his hair down to his shoes. Needless to say, the clothes were ruined. Ever since then, they've thought of me as "better than they are" or "too good for them". I didn't really say anything, but I was so mad that I was quiet. Yes, it was partially my rampant stupidity to send him out in the first place, but I thought with such older kids outside they'd watch them. Arg!
Beautiful Darkness
laheat at 2005-01-28 15:20 (UTC) (Link)
I straggled over from a friend's page, don't mind me. Just wanted to say, "Brilliant." :D

aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 15:25 (UTC) (Link)
Hee glad you like it and I must say I love your icon!
Beautiful Darkness
laheat at 2005-01-28 15:27 (UTC) (Link)
Heehee, I'm off to my English class in just a bit, and we're doing some pretty inane stuff, so this made me smile.

*Grins* Hey, thank you. lothlorienbaby made it, and I think she's still taking requests, if you wanted to ask for an MR one, she'd probably make you one. :o)

Beautiful Darkness
laheat at 2005-01-28 15:28 (UTC) (Link)
aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 17:26 (UTC) (Link)
How on earth did you guess I like MR? *Giggles* Thanks for the link *Squee*
Beautiful Darkness
laheat at 2005-01-28 20:03 (UTC) (Link)
How could one not? ;) [Huge Smallville fan here.]

aurora_bee at 2005-01-28 20:10 (UTC) (Link)
*Grin* YOu have extremly good taste!
thecaelum at 2005-01-28 22:19 (UTC) (Link)
*dies laughing* You should make a Smallville fic challenge that requires using two or more of these lines in a story. *dies again*
Sister Sword of Courteous Debate
pepperjackcandy at 2005-01-29 05:31 (UTC) (Link)
:seconds this:
aurora_bee at 2005-01-29 13:15 (UTC) (Link)
Now that would be funny :O)
Sister Sword of Courteous Debate
pepperjackcandy at 2005-01-29 05:30 (UTC) (Link)
I've seen this before, and I've always loved #11 (and this time I got an extra giggle from the UK translation) because, well, when I mention that one to people, they inevitably say, "There's no period on a Dr Pepper can?"

And doesn't that just prove the point?
aurora_bee at 2005-01-29 13:16 (UTC) (Link)
It does indeed :O))
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