aurora_bee (aurora_bee) wrote,

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Funny smallville fic - lunch at the Grenouille Violette

Title: Grenouille Violette
Author: Aurora_bee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Clex

DC/WB no infringement intended they own them.

The passenger door to the Ferrari crashed shut. Lex glared at Clark as he started the engine. Clark shrugged and pouted attempting to look innocent, the corners of Lex's mouth turned up into a sly smile.
'Where are we going Lex?' Lex shrugged, intentionally winding Clark up. 'Lex?' Clark looked worriedly at the older man.
'Where do you want to go Clark?' Clark shrugged, Lex knew he didn't know any restaurants in Metropolis, and he didn't want to go to the Happy burger.
'Tell me!' Squealed Clark.
'I booked us a table at Grenouille Violette.' Lex quickly turned a corner, Clark's head gently rested on Lex's arm as he unable to defy gravity. Lex looked down and put on the brakes. 'We're here.' Clark sat up, and Lex ruffled his hair. 'You flattened it when you decided to use my arm as a pillow.' Lex smiled.

They walked into the restaurant, Lex glanced at the menu as they waited to be seated. Clark looked at Lex awkwardly.
'Lex?' Lex looked up from the menu. 'This is very embarrassing.' Lex put a hand on Clark's shoulder concerned.
'Tell me.' Growled Lex. Clark blushed and leaned down to whisper in Lex's ear.
'I can't tell where the toilet is. I need to go.' Lex slowly released the air from his lungs trying not to laugh, a slow hiss came from his lips. Lex turned to Clark's ear.
'I can do better than that. I can show you.'

Lex led Clark down a corridor to the men's toilets. Clark looked at the attendant, and then at Lex.
'They have attendants in some restaurants Clark. They well, they attend.' Clark stood at the bowl and unzipped his flies. Lex started to use the bowl next to him. Clark glanced at Lex as he peed. Then took a second take.
‘What the hell?’ God thought Clark, he'd shouted it out, he could feel himself blush right down to his shoes. Lex looked at Clark like he was a freak.
'Clark?' Said Lex quizzically. The attendant was folding towels and appeared not to have noticed.
'What happened to it?' Said Clark as he glanced at Lex's penis.
'Nothing that I'm aware of Clark?' Lex was worried it wasn't that small surely? Lex glanced over as Clark zipped himself up. Clark would make some girl a very luck woman one day.
'You've got a bit missing.' Lex just about managed to keep a straight face, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry from sheer relief.
'I'm circumcised Clark.' Clark's mouth turned into an 'O'. Clark washed his hands and the attendant gave him a fresh towel. Clark's stomach grumbled in anticipation.
'I'm hungry Lex can we eat?' Lex nodded and followed Clark out. Clark really was innocent.

The End

I know what I said but I couldn't resist!

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