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Scarf OMG Nivella

What monkey do - Smallville fic!

Posted on 2004.08.27 at 13:02
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Title: What monkey do
Author: Aurora_bee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Clex

This is a follow on from Snails from Outerspace, but is hopefully just funny on it's own.

Clark dropped a french fry down the gap between the seat and the gearbox and was trying to fish it out before Lex noticed. Lex changed gear, squashing Clark's hand. Lex smirked at Clark knowingly.
'Sorry Clark.' Clark looked at Lex.
'Was just trying to make it easier to tell you I've spilled my milkshake in the glovebox.' Lex turned white, his body stiffened in the seat, eyes fixed to the road. Clark couldn't keep a straight face, and started to giggle, Lex relaxed letting out a sigh.
'Your sense of humour is going to get you into trouble one day.' Clark looked at his watch, they had spent far too much time in the queue at the Happy Burger, and he had to be back at the zoo in 5 minutes. Clark touched Lex's leg.
'Can you drive faster?' Lex looked at the hand resting on his leg, and gazed into Clark's eyes.
'You want me to drive faster? That's something I never dreamed I'd hear you say.' Clark moved his hand, wondering why he'd touched Lex's leg in the first place.
'Just drive!'

The red Ferrari pulled up at the entrance to the zoo with a screech. Clark leaned toward Lex and realised he was not in the car with his mother and that he should not give Lex a kiss, at least not in public. Instead he opted for patting Lex's shoulder and nearly ripping the car door off its hinges at he leapt out.

Lex sat in the car somewhat dazed and confused. The whirlwind that was Clark Kent had disappeared into the zoo, after getting to close for comfort. Lex looked into his rear view mirror and noticed Clark's jacket on the back seat. The sky had started to cloud over and Lex felt a pang of guilt at the thought of dropping it off later. He pulled into a space and went into the zoo, with Clark's jacket.

Finding Clark was considerably more difficult then Lex had first thought. Lex had trudged around the nocturnal house for 30 minutes trying to find the exit, and not pass out with the smell of bat dung. Finally he found Clark alone in a wooded area that appeared to be the home of some monkeys. Clark was watching a small monkey sat on the fence next to him very closely. Both jumped when Lex called out for Clark.
'You forgot this.' Said Lex as he passed Clark his jacket. The monkey sniffed at Lex's sleeve.
'And you came into the zoo just to give it to me?' Clark beamed. Lex blushed. The monkey softly pulled at the sleeve of his suit. Clark looked at the monkey. 'It looks like he likes you.' The monkey proceeded to chew on Lex's sleeve.
'Uhm, Clark are they allowed to eat Armani?' Clark laughed as Lex tried to prise the primate off his arm. Which allowed the monkey to climb on his back and proceed to dry hump him. Clark started to laugh, the more Lex struggled the more passionate the monkey got. The monkey started to move up toward Lex's head trying to get a better purchase.
'Clark, stop laughing and get him off.' Clark leaned on the fence unable to move, through hysteria. Something wet touched Lex's head and he screamed. Clark couldn't see through the tears, and collapsed into the fence, breaking it and falling into a pile of steaming monkey poo. He looked up to see Lex reach down to him to help him up the monkey perched on his shoulder.
'Why'd he stop?' Asked Clark as Lex pulled him to his feet.
'Why do we usually stop?' Clark stared at Lex and then the back of his jacket.
The End



just abi
justabi at 2004-08-27 06:58 (UTC) (Link)
The image of Lex being attacked by a horny monkey made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.
aurora_bee at 2004-08-27 08:31 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks hon :O)
fromward at 2004-08-27 07:04 (UTC) (Link)
too funny. i liked how it ended in grossness.
aurora_bee at 2004-08-27 08:32 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, it was well groos!
roxymissrose at 2004-08-27 09:14 (UTC) (Link)
Haaaa! you're so bad!!!Ew! Ew! Ew!lol! Poor Lex!

Look, you made me go all over exclamations! *hug*
aurora_bee at 2004-08-27 09:41 (UTC) (Link)
As they say it's a laff innit!
kitkat3979 at 2004-08-27 20:12 (UTC) (Link)
Ewww! But so very, very funny. Poor Lex, getting humped by a monkey. Monkey's obviously are very smart.

And Clark deserved to fall into the poop for refusing to help.

Thanks for the laughs sweetie.
aurora_bee at 2004-08-28 01:25 (UTC) (Link)
I think I'd laught though, I would be incapable of doing anything else!
where is the hooood? where is it aaaat?
lexslave at 2004-12-04 15:10 (UTC) (Link)
Clark couldn't see through the tears,

me either!!! LMAO!!! poor LEX!!!!
aurora_bee at 2004-12-04 16:47 (UTC) (Link)
You are both mean!
where is the hooood? where is it aaaat?
lexslave at 2004-12-04 16:59 (UTC) (Link)
AM NOT!!!! c'mon, MR would laugh his ass off!! :D
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